Premier League Kickoff: What We Learned from the 2023/24 opening day by Ebuka

The eagerly anticipated Premier League 2023/24 season roared back to life over the weekend, setting the football world ablaze with an exhilarating display of skill, passion, and drama. As the stadiums echoed with the cheers of fans and the thud of the ball hitting the back of the net, a staggering total of 28 goals were scored across the matches. This electrifying weekend not only entertained but also provided valuable insights into the dynamics of the new season. Here are some of the key takeaways from the Premier League’s resounding return.

1. The Master Teaches the Student as City Smashes Through Burnley on Their EPL Return: In a clash that pitted master against apprentice, the Premier League’s opening weekend saw Manchester City, under the guidance of their enigmatic manager Pep Guardiola, secure a convincing victory against Burnley, managed by none other than City legend Vincent Kompany. As the reigning champions embarked on their title defense, the encounter held special significance due to the reunion between Guardiola and Kompany, a player who had been instrumental in City’s past glories. City displayed their strength and depth, emerging victorious in a contest that saw spells of resistance from Kompany’s Burnley. Despite their best efforts, the Clarets were unable to hold back the attacking might of the Cityzens falling to a 3–0 defeat. Despite the loss, the performance of Kompany’s Burnley side was commendable, noticeable by their well-regimented setup and the aggression they displayed against City. With several incisive attacks, they demonstrated that they were no mere newcomers to the Premier League and were ready to challenge even the most formidable opponents. The return to top-flight action was undoubtedly a daunting task for Burnley, but their resilience and tactical approach indicated that Kompany’s influence extended beyond the pitch he once graced as a player.
2. Timber is chopped down as the Gunners sneak past Forest: Arsenal got their Premier League title charge off to a winning start when they hosted Nottingham Forest on Saturday. Eddie Nketiah and Bukayo Saka set the stage with first-half fireworks, leaving Forest lost in the woods. But just as the Gunners were writing the script, Anthony Elanga and Taiwo Awoniyi combined to narrow the lead to 2–1, turning the match into a nail-biting thriller. Yet, as the plot thickened, a cloud of concern loomed over Arsenal’s celebration. Jurriën Timber, their summer signing, had to make an unplanned exit due to injury. The audience held their breath, hoping it was just a plot twist and not a tragic turn. Amidst the cheers and tension, the Premier League reminded us that it’s not just a game; it’s a roller-coaster ride of emotions, with unexpected twists that keep us hooked for the next scene.
3. Pelly Ruddock Mpanzu makes English football history with Luton Town: In a day that felt like a soccer soap opera, Luton Town’s return to the top flight was marked by more drama than a Shakespearean tragedy. A 4–1 defeat to Brighton and Hove Albion wasn’t exactly the fairytale opening they’d hoped for, with the Caicedo saga still playing out in the background of their opponent. But amidst the chaos, a different tale was unfolding — one starring Pelly Ruddock Mpanzu, a name that’s now etched in the annals of English football history. While the Hatters might not have aced their return exam, Mpanzu was the unmissable highlight of the show. In a league where fortunes can swing like a pendulum, he added a touch of permanence, becoming the first player to journey with the same club from non-league to the Premier League, traversing all five tiers along the way. Sure, the opening day might not have sung Luton’s victory song, and Mpanzu’s involvement in one of the conceded goals added an unexpected plot twist. But that’s the beauty of football — it’s a script where the unexpected often steals the spotlight. As the curtains closed on Luton’s return act, one thing was clear: Mpanzu’s name might be a mouthful, but it’s also a piece of English football history that will be remembered for many seasons to come.
4. Toffees toothless as Leno shines: With an xG of 2.73, Everton was painting the pitch with potential goals, yet the back of the net remained untouched, as if Fulham was guarded by a goalie sorcerer with Bernd Leno making 9 saves. The Toffees’ offense resembled a magician pulling tricks without the rabbit — entertaining but lacking the magical finish. Despite the higher xG, Everton suffered a 1–0 defeat, leaving behind the only evidence that matters in football: the three-point footprint. A win is a win, after all, and it doesn’t require a magnifying glass to decipher. As Sean Dyche’s crew grapples with their goal-scoring conundrum, a flicker of intrigue ignites. Could this be a sneak peek into Everton’s future? Will they unearth the missing piece of their goal-scoring puzzle in this summer window or is this just the overture to a suspenseful season? The story is far from its final chapter, and as the curtain rises on the Premier League stage, the enigma only deepens.
5. 5-star Newcastle as the toons put the villains through the sword: Newcastle United took the game to Aston Villa and made them dance to a 5-star tune. It was a debut for the ages, not just for the teams but also for the recruits — Tonali, Diaby, and the enigmatic Harvey Barnes. It was a tale of two starts: one a dreamy entrance and the other, well, a bit of a stumble. Villa’s big-money signings would have sort to appear on the scene with a bang, but it was Newcastle’s Saudi-fueled extravaganza that took center stage. A 5–1 smacking wasn’t just a win; it was a statement carved with the sharp edge of a sword. Nonetheless, watch these teams closely as they’re both set for a huge season.
6. The Maddison Show? In the grand theater of football, the spotlight shifted as the curtain rose on the post-Kane era at Tottenham. With Harry off to the Bavarian lands, it was Brentford who played host to this intriguing drama. The Bees, missing their talisman in Ivan Toney, faced a Kane-less Tottenham in a London showdown. Amid this transformation, a new lead emerged — James Maddison, the man with a plan to step into Kane’s shoes. The debutant dazzled, orchestrating the show with two sublime assists that even Maradona would’ve applauded. But alas, the final act didn’t mirror his brilliance. Spurs settled for a 2–2 draw as if the scriptwriter couldn’t quite decide on the ending. Maddison’s ascension was announced not just with assists, but with the prestigious title of vice-captain. The stage is set for him to fill the void left by Kane’s departure, and the audience is buzzing with anticipation. As the season unfolds, we wait with bated breath to see if Maddison truly claims the spotlight, turning the show into “The Maddison Show,” a tale of magic, ambition, and a dash of unforeseen twists that only football can conjure.
7. Draw-a-ton with Chelsea and Liverpool at the Bridge: The Premier League stage was set for a blockbuster Super Sunday showdown, and the marquee match of the weekend had Chelsea and Liverpool battling it out on a Sunday that promised more twists than a mystery novel. The result? A 1–1 draw that seemed to extend the “draw-a-ton” trend to a whopping 7 games. But amid the draw-drama, there was a silver lining for Pochetinno as he got them playing the best football since the Bohely era began. As the final whistle blew, the scoreboard might have shown equality, but the truth was more nuanced. The Blues, with a sigh and a shrug, might have felt a tad more hard done by. But whilst there was a draw on the pitch, Chelsea won the transfer battles off the pitch with them sealing the sought-after Caicedo and almost confirming Lavia. Exciting times are ahead for Chelsea fans
8. Abysmal performance from United despite win: In a match that unfolded like a tense drama, Erik ten Hag’s team found themselves struggling to keep up with Wolves on Monday. Despite the eventual victory secured by Raphael Varane’s header, the performance left much to be desired. The midfield dynamics appeared shaky throughout the game, with Casemiro often overwhelmed by the opposition’s pressure. On a brighter note, the spotlight turned to new signing Andrey Onana, who had faced skepticism regarding his shot-stopping abilities. However, his six crucial saves earned him the Man of the Match award. With his impressive performance, Onana proved his worth and played a pivotal role in ensuring United’s victory, even though the match was not without its last-minute VAR controversy. Despite the win, the reality remains that United must address their midfield concerns and work towards narrowing the gap with their rivals. The victory might have painted a positive picture, but the underlying issues serve as a reminder that there’s still work to be done for United to maintain its competitiveness in the season ahead.